The moment we've all been waiting for

I have been so freaking helpful these past couple of weeks.

I helped move Shelle to her new room. I helped move Jollan to her new room. I helped put Jollan's bed together. I helped put Shelle's bed together. Yesterday, I helped HaMad move into her new room. (ETA:) And today, I helped Shelle put her bookcase together, and watched helped HaMad move her fridge.

Tomorrow This afternoon, it will all be worth it.

I am moving my Ikea boxes of wardrobe, bookshelf, and desk, plus my new chair and random packed boxes, to my new house. And all those suckers lovely people will be there to help me.

I am such an awesome friend.

Bite Me

The other night, we were having a conversation about food (probably our lack of it, or a sudden need to eat junky varieties of it) and we got on to the topic of strange food things. You know, the yummy things that you eat that make everyone else cringe just a little.

I'm not even going to get into the fact that a whole country seems to think it's ok to put peanut butter AND jam (yes it's jam, not jelly) on the one sandwich. However. I thought I'd share two awesome snacks that you just have to try. (In convenient picture form.)

                         

On the left, we have a lovely lunch right there: a vegemite, chips, and cheese sandwich. There should be another piece of bread on the top of that pile, and the chips and cheese layers should be repeated another couple of times. Yum.

And on the right, a morning/afternoon tea snack thing: saos with cream and banana (rounds). Delicious, no? (Yes.)

Your turn: what gross thing do you love to eat?

Who the hell am I?

I've turned into one of THOSE people.

You know, the ones who get things done.

Yesterday, I woke up. I had breakfast, a shower, dressed, make-up even. I went to Ikea and bought my wardrobe and Shelle's mattress. I organised delivery and flirted mildly with the guy at the counter. I went to Marion and did my grocery shopping. I went home and had lunch.

All before midday. What the hell?

Then, I went to work. I got there early on purpose so I could buy a quilt cover for my new bed. I managed to get a seven-piece set,* plus a sheet set. Then I went to work.

You see all that? That's THINGS. That I did. Bizarre.

*Kinda like this one, but only in that's it's a set, with cushions and stuff. Not in the colour, design, size, matching curtains and pictures on the wall oh my lord.

Wireless

Yet another item to add to the List of Things I Don't Understand.

My new house (omg! new house! ahem...) has wireless internet. I need to buy a wireless card thingie. Then I will be able to blog from my new bedroom. Or my new bathroom. Or my new backyard.

These are things I know.

Things I don't know: how does wireless work? will I be able to like drive around and read your blogs from, like, the beach? or, ooh, could I fly to somewhere, say San Francisco, and read your blog right there next to you?

Also, what wireless card do I have to get?

Please help me.

Australia Day

Happy Australia Day!

I have to admit, I'm not doing much for it. I worked today, and I work tomorrow. Me and the rest of the country will have the day off on Monday, when I will attempt to start packing.

I wouldn't mind being at the beach, or having a barbeque, but everyone I know just jetted off to Hobart to be a world-famous scientist or to Perth to see Bon Jovi. And I'm a lazy bitch. Instead, I will have a nice Aussie meat pie and tomato sauce for dinner.

I think it's lucky Australia was born in January. Can you imagine us trying to be all "Aussie" in the middle of winter?

I like this list of ways to tell if you're a true Australian. Aussies: which one is your favourite? Everyone else: how many did you understand?

I may have overreacted. (No, I didn't.)

Yes, I got a haircut. No, it is not 'short' in most people's view. (Where most = everyone except me.) Yes, it is much much much a bajillion times shorter than it was. Yes, I told her I wanted my fringe ('bangs', I believe) shorter. Yes, she was supposed to be psychic and tell me I wouldn't like it when she had done it.



Ok, yes, I am almost used to the fringe already. But dude! My hair doesn't even touch the counter when I'm writing tickets at work! That's hell short.

Wahhhhhhhhhh

You know how you get a haircut, and you're all, I'm glad I'm doing this. I needed a trim. It will feel all fresh and new. And then you're all OMG FREAKOUTFREAKOUT WAYYYY TOO SHORT WTF WAS I THINKING???

Yeah, me neither.

I Am You Are

Being from Darwin, I am used to crocodiles in the swimming pool, box jellyfish in my fish-n-chips, and riding kangaroos to school.*

I am not, however, used to seeing a real live Koala Lou in my backyard.



If you look closely, you can observe three things:

1. That is indeed a koala.

2. My camera phone takes pretty awesome pictures.

3. I am standing extremely close to that tree, just so you guys can get a good look a real live koala, and I hope you appreciate that fact. The whole time I was expecting it to go all drop bear on my arse.

*Only one of these is untrue. You can decide which one.

Can't Say I Wasn't Warned

But dude, it was only thirty-five dollars. For a whole desk with a computer slidey thing!

Hi, my name is Missy and I'm a furniture-holic.

We went back to Ikea today*. No, my wardrobe hasn't come in yet. No, I wasn't planning on buying anything else. Yes, I came home with a brand-new desk. Luckily, Shelle also came home with a bed, which was the whole point of the exercise.

Not only that, but we managed to get everything out of the box and into her car in under an hour. And we just assembled the whole thing (with no pieces left over this time!).

*We also went to LeCornu today, as well as Harvey Norman, Forty Winks, and some other random place the other day. So it's the furniture, not the Ikea. I kinda hate Ikea actually. It's so ... commercial. And identical. Also cheap. Wait, that's why I kinda love it. Hmm.

Things I Don't Understand

So, I really thought that there was a Dr Cox rant from Scrubs about "Things I Don't Understand" and it was hilarious, and it would have been the perfect start to this post.

Apparently, such a thing does not exist. We will soldier on, regardless.

Sunday's Thing That I Don't Understand:

How it is that people can not lock the door to the change room when they go to try things on?

Unfortunately, this is not a hypothetical. Nor did it, like, happen to me today and I thought I'd blog about this random occurrence. It is not a random occurrence. People do it all the freaking time. I just do understand how they do it. You go in, you shut the door, you lock the door, you take off all your clothes and try on those Speedos that no-one in the history of the world really looks hot in. It's not that hard.

Feel free to chime in with your own Thing I Don't Understand or Stupid Shoppers story.

And I assume the quote I was thinking of was this one (all you need to do is change 'care' to 'understand' and it's all good!):

Dr Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! Oh, and Hugh Jackman.

And I'm back in the game

I'm pretty sure that it was Ikea that got you all so excited, but thanks for all the comments on the post that was actually about me possibly no longer facing unemployment.

Turns out, instead of doing a couple of hours voluntarily, I did a whole day (ok, it was a short one, and I'm still buggered from it). And I got paid for it.

Obviously, it was not going to be identical to other centres I've worked in, but it was still pretty nice. Lots of
Where's your hat?
Would you like milk or water?
I don't know, where did you leave it?
Pack away now please.
We do not throw toys.
Go and look for it.

OH, AND guess what I read?

Yep, my favouritest book. Haha, not even back for a day and I'm right back into it!

Who's a big girl then?

That'd be me.

After handing in resumes at the only two places I knew of, and compiling my huge list of Noooooooooooooooooooo's, I offered my services to another centre this morning.

And they accepted!

Well, pretty much. I'm going in on Friday for an hour or two to prove I'm not a psycho person, and then they'll put me on the relief roster. Whoo!

AND THEN...

We went to Ikea, to spend all the money I haven't yet earned.

And I bought a bookcase!

Yes, I am crazy, why do you ask?
No, I have no idea where it's going to stay for the next couple of weeks before I move out.
No, I do not plan on moving it down the stairs for myself. (I've been assured the delivery guys will carry it up for me!)

And I decided which wardrobe I want!

I hadn't really, but then I found my bookcase and only one of the two wardrobes I'd been considering matched it, so my mind was made up. It doesn't come in til the end of January, which is fine, cos that's when I'm moving, as long as it does come in.

OMG I just realised I have to move in a couple of weeks! Help!

That's it. I'm starting my own centre.

I'm looking for a job. And I mean actively looking now, not just being all, 'wouldn't it be nice if someone offered me a job?' I don't even mean handing in resumes at the two childcare centres I knew existed in Adelaide.

I pulled a list of all the licensed centres ... in South Australia. Twenty pages worth. (Incidentally, I was suprised at the number of Montessori schools here.)

Then I crossed off the ones that were logistically inappropriate. Mount Gambier was dismissed as being too far away. As were Port Pirie, Port Augusta, and Bordertown. Then I was really harsh and cut all the ones north of the city and south of Noarlunga.

(This would work so much better if you all knew where these places were. And that's why God invented Google Maps.)

AND THEN. I realised I had to cut out a lot more. Based solely on their names.

Most of them went [Suburb] [Optional direction indicator] [Optional 'Community'] Childcare Centre. Which is fine, if boring. But I have a problem with some of the others.

For example, "[Area] Community Childcare Centre - [Suburb] Campus." Campus? Campus?! They're not at uni. They're not even in primary school! They don't have 'campuses.' (Campusi?)

Oh, and "[Suburb] Childcare Centre - Baby House," I realise you have two separate 'campuses' and one is for the older kids and one is for the babies, but couldn't you come up with something better than 'Baby House'?

I'll let all the "Kindergarden"s go, because even if I think it goes creche-preschool-primary school aka big school, I know that you people down here don't talk good. What I will not let slide, however, is "Kindy."

Then we have all the ex-hippies who feel the need to add some sort of explanation about their environment into the name of the centre. Here's a hint: almost everyone has "Blossoms" "Blue Skies" and "Horizons." It is Adelaide, "The Hills" or "The Ranges" don't really narrow it down at all. Neither does "The Neighbourhood."

Plus, some of these names may lead to some confusion. I assume that "Rainbow" refers to the colourful things in the sky, and not to the fact that you're churning out gay three-year olds by the trike-load. Likewise, I may assume that the "Emu Children's Centre" is located somewhere with 'Emu' in the name. Of course, I may be wrong. Maybe they're bringing up the emu children.

I hate all the lovey-dovey ones, peace and harmony bullshit. "Parent Child" "New Friends" "Next Generation" and "Stepping Stone": give me a break. Conversely, I also don't like the ones who try to pretend all they have to do is watch the kids play all day: "Playhouse" "Playschool" and "Toy Box": do some work.

The final ones can be divided into three categories:

1. Nursery rhymes: "Goldilocks" "Pied Piper" and "Nanna's." Just ... no.

2. One who can't spell or feel the need to make a mockery of the English language: "Iddy Biddy Kids" "Kiddywinks" and "Kidz Club." If you can't spell, why should I believe you would be able to teach the kidz kids to spell? Or do anything else for that matter.

3. Grr. People referring to children at Little Anything, or any derivation thereof: "Lil Sprouts" "Little Rascals" "Little Treasures" "Mini Gems" "Precious Cargo" and "Tiny Tots." We know they're lil little. They're children.

And finally, things that make me go 'uhh...?' "Edge Kids Life." "Tri-Skills." Yeahhhhh nope. I have no idea.

PS: Should anyone at any of these centres have the urge to give me a job, call me! I was just ... kidding. I love your name!

The good thing about living by yourself is...

... you can have pumpkin soup and hot cross buns for dinner at 11:30pm.

Hypothetically.

Who are you and what have you done with Missy?

Ok, this is really weird, but after reading a whole bunch of people who seem very invested in the topic, including these posts, I think I might be interested in the US presidential election.

How weird is that?!

I do not even care about politics in my own country (despite having studied it for two years, and having a best friend who CARES DEEPLY about all that shit stuff and does her best to make it interesting to me).

One of my lecturers had a theory about how we're all too complacent because nothing ever goes wrong so we've have it too easy blah blah. Maybe so but we're quick enough to bitch about it.

Anyway, I just think it's cool that there could be a non White Male president. Which is not to say that they'd automatically do a better job because of that. But maybe they would. Maybe they'd have more incentive, or a different perspective, or maybe they'd just be the best man - or woman - for the job.

I hope no-one expects me to maintain this high level of interest in the political affairs of any country. Finding the prospect of a black/woman president mildly appealing was about the extent of my excitement.

Crossing Off The TO DO List

I got so many things done today.

I cleaned my shoes. (Ok, that was yesterday.)

I wrote postcards.
I went to the post office and bought stamps.
I posted postcards.
(I didn't post a parcel I was supposed to.)

I picked up my scooter. (One spark plug, front brake pads, and $200 later...)

I updated my resume.
I wrote a cover letter.
I handed my resume in to two childcare centres. (Ok, it was one. But I'll do the other one in the morning!)

I went to the beach.
I bought an ice-cream.
I rode home.

I'm sure you can now understand the gigantic sense of achievement I'm feeling. How was your day?

Chrismakeastoween

As far as I'm concerned, there are certain times to start (and finish) celebrating holidays.

The Christmas tree goes up on the first of December and comes down by the last day of January. (Ideally it would be twelve days after Christmas, whenever the hell that is. You can tell I still have my tinsel up.)

If I was at all interested in celebrating Valentines Day, I would say you can't start selling pink hearts and red roses before New Years.

Valentines Day also seems as good a time as any to use as a marker for selling Easter eggs. As in: before = don't. Let's get one holiday over with before we start forcing the next lot of commericalness on each other, mkay?

On some level, I agree with Kelley.

Obviously, not on the 'I love eating hot cross buns, would eat them all year round if I could, and may in fact be eating one right now' ... level.

What's up? What's down?

Translation: Heshan left Kim's fish with me while they're away, and I was terrified it wouldn't survive with me as it's only caregiver.

Luckily: Jollan is back and I've offloaded the fish (still alive!) to her.



Translation: The Scarlet Lady cacked it.

Luckily: I convinced her to make it all the way home (later, without her getting a ticket in the meantime). She's now being checked out by the people at the scooter place. Fingers crossed.

Read-A-Picture: The Pine Log

This post was brought to you by the fact that I am completely unable to remember the name of a book skywalker had when he was little or find anyone who can based on my description, and vsquared and skywalker's mad photography skillz.

When I was little, and did lots of cool stuff. We especially liked riding our although I don't think he liked the part where I kicked him in his back from my little seat on the back of his . When I graduated to a of my own, sometimes we'd go on rides together when he'd always pretend he was lost, and sometimes I would ride while he walked.

We went to the a fair bit. I loved the and could push me so high that he'd run underneath me. Awesome. There was also a which I think we used to pretend was a or something like that. Also at the park: .

I challenge you to walk past a without experiencing the urge to walk along it. I was an expert walker, and never missed an opportunity to show off my skill. This particular day, I had ridden to the park, and had walked, and we'd bought along some (the park had a ) and probably a or something. We'd played and swung and fought and it was time to go - by way of a of course.

Some of the were close together, and some were a bit tricky, but as I said, I was an expert. So I'm walking along, and 's jumping me over the really huge gaps, but I was feeling stubborn and independent and insisted I could do the rest. And of course, I fell. I missed the , and stepped into and scraped all my up on the I'd just left.

Dude, it really hurt.

So picked up and and the and the and ran as fast as we he could. As far as I can remember, there was a scrape from my tailbone to my shoulderblades, but I'm thinking my memory may be exaggerating. I don't have a scar, but both have the lovely memories of our time at the .

Icy Cold

I admit, I was not in favour. But then I realised I'm not the boss of the world (I know, it was a shock to me too) and everyone should be able to have fun, even if that consists of laying flat on your back on the ice.

'Fun' actually turned out to be ice-skating, and not the falling down kind either.





Fun, right?

Not pictured: me, skating backwards, holding hands with vsquared.

Also not pictured: my arms, caning, twelve hours later.

Starting the year right

That's what I'm talking about!

Happy New Year: What You Missed and Have To Look Forward To

Everyone in the world is getting all retrospective and comtemplative. Or hungover. Since I am not the latter, we'll give the former a try.

So. What I did in 2007.

I was home when it started, and I got an MP3 player. It broke. I got a new camera. It's fine. (Fingers crossed.)

I made a list of New Year's Goals that I promptly forgot about. How does two-and-a-half out of four take you?

I got back to the Hall. There was a lot of O-Week related madness.

My scooter came back with me. Then I had to drive in Adelaide. Luckily, I got good at it. Then I got worse.

I went back to uni. People annoyed me. A lot. And I totally called this one.

Good thing I had permission to write about all the AssHats I wanted to.

I obsessed over my clothes and my hair. And the weather. I also went shopping. A lot.

We had four Formal Dinners. And lots and lots of events. I even participated in some of them. Plus lots of SAAUCC (and other) sports, like tennis, swimming, debating, basketball, and soccer (which we won!), I became a true Hallie. We hated St Marks, stole some bathtubs and won Battle of the Bands!

Unfortunately, I didn't really like the Tutor Dictatorship here. I also bitched about the food.

I had some awesome friends. And some of them came to visit me! And posted Guest Posts. I even went to Melbourne with some of them.

I read a book called Harry Potter. You may have heard of it. I also watched a lot of TV and DVDs, in addition to being a TV star.

I came back to uni for my last semester. I learned stuff. People were still annoying.

I had my 22nd birthday, which was pretty awesome.

I had a breast lump 'scare'.

I clearly thought about BlogHer way too much.

I participated in The Great Mofo Delurk and I finished NaBloPoMo.

I met one of my best friends. She lost one of her best friends. I realised the power of a well-written post.

I got a job.

There was this little event called Hall Ball.

I had my last class ever. I handed in my last thing. And finally, I shut up about uni.

I got a new phone. It was psychic. (Incidentally, it had balls on the tree at Christmas, and fireworks last night. Freaking fireworks! How awesome is that?!)

We started cooking things.

And then we had Christmas Day. And Boxing Day. And New Year's Eve.

And now here we are. Jeez I am a bit repetitive really when you put it all like that.

(I do not imagine that anyone is going to be bored enough to click on all those links. It was a fun exercise for me, however.)

400+ posts, a year and a half, tons of photos, and some not particularly well-written sentences. The Ranch would like to wish you a happy 2008, with good friends (blog or otherwise), humourous and heartfelt posts, and lots of hot sunny weather!