Things I have learned in my first two days at uni:
FROM ENGL2508: CRIME FICTION AND FILM: FROM POE TO THE POSTMODERN
Books are still being banned. Dymocks at Marion refuses to order The Killer Inside Me byJim Thompson. Dude, it's a set text. You will make a killing (hee!) off Flinders Uni if only kept a few copies behind the counter.
FROM ENGL2110: WRITING AND DESIGNING FOR THE WEB
We've already covered this but it seems we have to do it again. If you are a teacher of internetness-slash-computer programming or whatever, it doesn't inspire much faith if you can't press F5, or even go Slideshow - View Show, but instead click through the individual slides while they're still in the editing pane thingy.
FROM HIST2050: THEMES IN AUSTRALIAN SOCIAL HISTORY
1. Do not brag about your timetable. You will receive a letter from your letter stating that they've had a look at your timetable, noticed that you have eleven am Tuesday free, and that they've moved you into that tut time. They do not mention if they've noticed that you already have four classes in a row on that day, and that one makes five THANKS A FREAKING LOT.
2. Students in this class are expected to sixteen hours a week for this class.
2.1 Students overall are expected to do thirty hours a week per class.
2.2 Some basic maths.
24 hrs in the day x 7 days = 168 hrs in the week.
30 hrs per class x 4 classes = 120 hrs of work per week.
8 hrs of sleep x 7 nights = 56 hrs of sleep per week.
168 hrs in the week - 56 hrs of sleep per week = 112 hrs available.
Hours available in the week = 112 hours.
Hours of work "required" = 120 hours.
Hmmm. Yeah, ok.
3. Lecturers are stupid. This maybe doesn't mean you should have a go at them in the very first class. My bad.
FROM HIST2059: COLONIES, EMPIRE, AND REVOLUTION: BRITISH NORTH AMERICA 1500-1800
"Be cautious in use of the internet." No really! Look out! Something may fall on your head! Or a trapdoor may suddenly spring open! Or the booby-trap with the knives that fly at your head will be activated if you're not being cautious. Phew. Glad I've been warned.
FROM AWESOME LISA THE TUTOR
If you do good stuff throughout the semester, and impress on your tutor the necessity of you getting a Distinction in the topic, they will give you a good mark in your final essay, even if - and I quote - some of your statements are not as clear as they could be [and] the writing lacks some of your usual 'sparkle' (and has uncharacteristic typos!).