I spent last night in the Emergency Department. Cool hey?
In a pretty display of synchronisation, the best players on the boys* and girls basketball teams each have injured shoulders. Awesome huh?** And no, the best girl player wasn't me. Although it might be now. But I did get to take Sarah down to Emergency with Donna, where we got to:
a) watch the end of McLeod's Daughters (Stevie and Alex played in the mud, and then he gave her the ring. Awww).
b) sit around A LOT. They move you from one chair to the next - which was fine, cos McLeod's was finished and they didn't change it to either House or Heroes so whatever! moving on! - to make you think you're actually getting somewhere. (Hint: you're so not.)
c) watch a group of about seven nurses all look at us, while we look at them, during the shift-change handover, and know that they are talking about us. (Hey! Guys! Pantomiming one shoulder being three inches lower than the other isn't as subtle as you might think.)
d) name the doctors. Disappointly, there was no-one named Derek or Shepherd or Mark or Vet, however, there was McFlurry and McGrandpa and McRosy (pretty sure he was wearing blush but he was still the best of the bunch). We ended up with the old one, of course. Lucky us.
e) fidget and bitch and speculate on the what the doc's were doing instead of y'know, treating patients. Here's what we saw them do:
- a suck-up nurse-type goes up to McHottie-with-the-blush and is all "I can do things. If you need anything done, I'm here." Yes, for real. watch McHotBlushDr dismiss him with barely a glance, in that arrogant doctor way that they have. Hee!
- everyone ignores that flatlining beeeeep sound. dude, someone just died. we decide they all probably make that their ringtone as it's something they're used to responding to. except, they don't.
- realise at least one of them has a different ringtone as we listen to them either playing with their ringtones or not answering their goddamn phone.
- we realise they're msning people.
- we realise they're going on the FlindersER.myspace page, adding lots of "friends". too bad they're losing patients by the hallway-load.
- we watch them swigging vodka from their water bottles. a lot. we get jealous. we'll have some!
- we watch them send Sarah off for an x-ray even though no-one thinks anything's broken. we figure this way McGrandpa can be all "I already have a patient. Don't bother me!" when someone tries to hand him a chart.
- realise that all three of us should have said the pain was a "NINE, NO TEN! ARRGGHH IT'S AN ELEVEN!!!!!!!" in order to get vodka, morphine sucky things, or quicker service.
f) worry. And he'll see you again in when? Twelve months? Don't you think that's a bit late for a follow-up? The arm will have probably fallen off by then. Can we have a second opinion? No, just kidding, we just want one of those morphine sucky things and a sling so we can GET OUT OF HERE. (Turns out he said two weeks. Whoda thought?)
f) worry. There was a kid in a cubicle, around which they'd drawn the curtain. (I love it when they do that. A curtain is such a solid barrier.) A bunch of security guys had gathered, one of which said, "This might not end well. He's a big lad." All the other ER patients were on the other hallway, and all, and I mean ALL the ER docs and nurses were inside the trige desk/nurses station, behind nice solid glass, peering out at the boy through the gap in the curtains (and the nice solid glass).
However, it was all good. We were in and out before midnight, I missed House but that's ok cos CARLA IS AWESOME AND COMING TO VISIT ME, and Sarah's shoulder is still buggered which is a pain in the arse for her and me cos I care about the SAAUCC Team, so it's clearly not all good, but the point is (or was going to be before a huge long rambling post (and sentence)) is that I've walked home from Marion, swum in the pool, done a Gully Run (well, not naked and not at a run, but you're gonna have take what you can get) and now, been to Emergency. So I'm thinking I can graduate now. Ok lecturers?
*Oh yeah, BbB has hurt his shoulder too. And is a man-whore I've been reliably informed. So I don't feel that sorry for him.
**Still, as I have been reminded, it's just for fun. Guys! Winning will be fun! I promise!