Tuesday, September 18, 2007

More than you ever wanted to read about my boobs

Holidays are boring yo. Especially with no internet.


I have a lump in my breast.

This does not strike fear into my heart. Maybe it should. But I’ve had it for years. Literally. At least three and probably a lot more. Why didn’t I do anything? I didn’t think it was anything. The one time I brought it up with The Witch, she dismissed it, probably taking her cue from my tone. So I didn’t do anything.

Until a couple of us were chatting about…I don’t even know what. The Gardasil vaccine, among other things. And I mentioned it. I don’t usually talk about my boobs, although I’m aware I do it a lot more these days. Probably because (a) I’m drunk a lot more these days and (b) I actually have some to talk about now.

So Shelle told me I should get it looked at. Which…duh. But since I was getting the vaccine anyway, I did. The doctor was all, wow there’s a lump. I guess she gets a lot of girls who hallucinate lumps in their breasts? Anyway, as she was having a prod around, she asked me, “Are you freaking out?” Well I wasn’t before, but thanks for suggesting I should be. Now I know how to feel.

She was good actually. I’m not suggesting she wasn’t. She booked an ultrasound for me for the next day and an appointment with the breast clinic at the Med Centre in a week.

I had the ultrasound today which was … exciting, actually. Also boring. I got to wear a gown! Just like on tv! And I had an ultrasound, without that whole OMG I May Be Knocked Up thing going on. (And I’m glad she knew what she was looking for, cos I couldn’t make out a thing until she drew the diameter lines in.) Anyway, she was pretty awesome too, and very reassuring, which was … reassuring, I guess, even though I still wasn’t behaving properly and freaking out. She was very calm and practical though, which I did appreciate. And she found another one! She’s better at Hide-and-Seek with my breast lumps than I am. This is apparently a good sign; we all agree that they’re benign fibro-adenomas.

I do still have an appointment at FMC, and a “fine needle aspiration biopsy of the palpable abnormality may be of value.” That sounds scary. The results aren’t scary (at the moment) but the big needle is.

So yeah. Go say hi to your girls! Wear pink! Have boob chats with your drinking buddies!

And, oh yeah, come fix my internet!


  1. carlabalala9:21 pm


    let me know how it goes okay? preferrably VIA VERBAL CONVERSATION rather than on the blog... I know you totally have nothing to worry about, the rate of breast cancer in young people (blokes get it too apparently) is low so the odds are in your favour! If there's anything else I can do (from here) let me know, k chicka?

    much love xxx

  2. carlabalala9:28 pm

    erm, you may need to copy and paste the above comment into a word document in order to read it. Just so you know.

  3. I would have if you ever signed on to your msn.

    And I think I got the gist. There was a lot of shouting, right?

  4. carlabalala1:17 pm

    A lot of WORRIED shouting full of CONCERN. And I've said it before, just text me and I'll jump straight on, you know that. AND, all you have to do is let my phone ring once and I'll call you right back, I have more credit than I'll ever use, so I have no problem calling you.

    Dude, please don't scare me like that again.

  5. ok, am very sorry. I didn't mean for you to miss the NO NEED FOR ANYONE TO FREAK OUT point of the post. the concern is muchly appreciated. trust me, you would have heard if there was any need to freak out.

  6. OK. I accept your assessment there is no need to worry. Lots of people have lumps.
    Get it checked out, ticked off, all OK. OK?

    If there is a need for any way to catch a plane, I'm available.


  7. dude.
    i was totally like 'OMG, WHY HASN'T SHE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT THE LUMP IN HER BOOB?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!'

    and then i was like, 'oh, right. i have a lump in my boob, too. and it's been there for as long as i can remember.'

    so, yeah.

    i will say i'm worried for you, because i've heard that needle biopsy thing is a bitch. i don't want to scare you, but the biggest complaint that i've heard is that the women aren't warned at all that it will be at least moderately painful. maybe it's different in your neck of the woods.

    the thing about women is, we can deal with pain, as long as we have fair warning.

    but, for the record, i would request a valium for the experience.
    i recommend you do the same.
    it certainly can't hurt.

  8. Thank you Tiff. Valium sounds like fun. Or one of those morphine sucky things! That could be good too. And my 'get checked' advice still stands. McSteamy would be pretty awesome also.

    Oops PS just realised I never actually said 'go get checked' but consider me having said it now.

  9. Foggy City Mommy11:22 am

    hey I am glad nothing is to worry but it still made me go check my own boobs!! lol...

    now I know you are the one in austrailia. actually, one of my siblings lives in AU as well.

    Cheers from SF!


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