Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Breast Enhancement Surgery: A Play

Wednesday 7:43pm
MISSY and JOLLAN meet TOMMY GUN at Missy's Bathroom.
MISSY and JOLLAN mock TOMMY GUN for his girly shampoo, but admit that TOMMY GUN has good taste in bathrooms.
TOMMY GUN exits stage left to commence his shower.
MISSY and JOLLAN exit stage right into Missy's Room.

JOLLAN: We should totally get him.

MISSY and JOLLAN collect supplies and proceed to MISSY's bathroom where they throw four water balloons at TOMMY GUN.

JOLLAN hurriedly exits stage ... front? while MISSY exits stage right, slamming the door to her room.

Wednesday 7:58pm
MISSY sits in her room, quietly having an aneurysm. From the corridor, we hear the sounds of TOMMY GUN and BURRA planning to throw the unexploded (frick!) water balloons at her. There is a knock at the door.

MISSY: Hell no.
TOMMY GUN and BURRA: [Evil laughter.]

There is a slight commotion at the door, then TOMMY GUN's head appears over the hatch.

MISSY grabs a water bomb threateningly, then slams her hatch shut.

Wedesday 8:11pm
MISSY and JOLLAN have a conversation on msn.

MissE says:
quick come here theyre holding me hostage
Jollan {hangin'} says:
Jollan {hangin'} says:
they're not
MissE says:
tommy gun was going to throw it through my hatch!
Jollan {hangin'} says:
Think I'm dumb or something?
MissE says:
no for real not kidding
Jollan {hangin'} says:

JOLLAN is no help obviously, so MISSY tries BRISTOL.

b r i s t o l says:
im tempted to get burra and tommy, im sure i could reel them into my room
b r i s t o l says:
the carpet might get a little wet tho outside lol
MissE says:
yeah i dont want to do it in places with carpet
MissE says:

Wednesday 8:18pm
MISSY, JOLLAN and BRISTOL spend some time roaming the corridors for people to bomb, to no avail. They discover a cheap alternative to breast enhancement surgery. JOLLAN collects SHELLE and they depart to watch House. BRISTOL takes her boobs back to her room. MISSY takes hers down to the common room to show off.

Wednesday 8:42pm
MISSY totally calls that the dude wasn't a vegetarian.

Wednesday 9:42pm
MISSY is telling TUTOR GERRY all about her boobs and their origin. JUICY pipes up that no, he was the one helping TOMMY GUN get up to her hatch. Fade out on MISSY's look of resolve to get JUICY.

Wednesday 9:46pm
JUICY leaves the common room, quickly followed by MISSY, taking out her boobs as she goes.

JUICY sees who's behind him, lets out an expletive and books it up the stairs. MISSY is smarter and runs into the courtyard. JUICY reaches the path near the computer room and thinks he's safe. MISSY jumps up the courtyard step and hurls one of her boobs at JUICY. (Unfortunately she misses. Boobs are hard to aim.) JUICY craps himself and sprints up the 3-2 staircase.

Wednesday 10:01pm
MISSY and SHELLE head up to retrieve some chocolate from MISSY's room then do some work. They see JUICY in the hallway about to take a shower. JUICY craps himself, again, some more.

JUICY splashes water all over MISSY's door and floor and hair (thanks heaps, I just straightened it).

MISSY grabs her last remaining boob and takes off. MISSY and JUICY do a lap of the third floor at a full sprint. They suprisingly don't break an ankle or two hurtling down the 3-4 staircase. MISSY picks up JUICY's bottle of water which he drops in his haste. She allows him to retreat into the common room.

Wedneday 10:14pm
MISSY and SHELLE find the chocolate, and SHELLE exits.

MISSY hears JUICY go into the shower.

She sneaks out of her room and into the bathroom...


And now ... I really need to go to the bathroom. Someone want to come help me?

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