Friday, November 02, 2007

A Letter From The Scarlet Lady

Dear Adelaide Drivers,

Hi. Feel free to not beep, yell, or give the finger in my direction. I know I'm slow. There is no need for you to point this out. I am not doing it to piss you off. However, if you ride so close up my arse I can hear your passenger bitching about how slow I'm going, I may possibly be forced to slow down.

Feel free to overtake me. In fact, I encourage it. Can I make a couple of suggestions however. Use your indicators. I don't need other people pissed at you, because angry drivers are NSFS.* More importantly, there are two lanes. (There better be at least two lanes if you are attempting to overtake me.) You need to get all the way into the other lane before getting so far up my arse etc etc. Then you need to stay in the other lane - your lane - until you are all the way past me, preferably until I can't read your stupid bumper stickers, before coming back into MY lane. Personal space, dude.

Feel free to exchange your smelly, noisy, boring car for a scooter or motorbike. This will force you to pay attention when you drive. Then you will notice things like the sucky road surface, and the other drivers on the road, and the smell of frangipani on the corner.

Sincerely,
The Scarlet Lady.

*If you don't know what this means, you clearly haven't been looking at any interesting Not Safe For Work sites. Don't lie, we know you do.

1 comment:

  1. Well my dear, perhaps you need to put a golf hat in your rear window. That is the international sign for 'I drive slow, overtake'

    ReplyDelete

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