Thursday, July 17, 2008

BH&B: Auckland to San Francisco

This post was written (with pen and paper) on the plane from Auckland to San Francisco on Tuesday 15th.


The airline gods clearly approve of this trip. Once again, the seat next to me is free. Can I get a hell yeah?

You know, the flight attendants or stewardesses or cabin crew, or whatever they like to be called, really don't have much to do (except bring me a new I94 form because I ignored their instructions on how to fill it out). The only part of the safety demo they still physically demonstrate is where the exits are. They don't even have to mess up their hair getting the life jackets on. Also, was I the only one who giggled every time they mentioned the business class 'ottomans'? (Hee.)

I've decided I quite like flying. I like the smell. I like the food.* I like the blankets and the teeny little pillows. I like that no-one ever wants to (or, more importantly, does) sit next to me.

*Cordon bleu. And now roast lamb or ... something. (I think the fact I forgot it meant I was destined to have 'it' - fish.) And something about chocolate for dessert.

I like the free alcohol, even if I haven't taken advantage of it. (Come on, not even I am going to drink for 15 straight hours, especially with scary US immigration people at the end of it. [I had a great chat with the guy, he was awesome. He was even joking around and we messed up my photo because of it, and had to take another one. Not scary at all.]

I also like my own personal adjustable tv screen with remote control and entertainment on demand. I forsee a lot of time in the movie section. [I watched Penelope and Definitely Maybe.] So far, I've compiled my own personal playlist - some Spice Girls, little bit of Miley Cyrus, some Chris Brown, Madonna and JT, Usher, and Fergie, then some old school Abba and Bee Gees. I ran out of room for Evermore, Foo Fighters, and the Killers, but I did some shuffling and they got added.**

So far? This trip freaking rocks.


Track 9 in my customised playlist reads:
"Make Love In This Club - Usher feat. You..."
That right there is Usher taking the Mile High Club to a whole new level.

I finished dinner and the chick next to me (but ONE SEAT OVER!) pointed out they'd stiffed me on dessert. So I asked for one.
And then they bought me two.
And then it was triple-choc ice-cream.
And then I moved into this plane until the day I died.
The end.

Man, I have a lot to say up in the sky. I am very witty wordy up in the sky.

PS: You try listening to the Spice Girls' Stop and not doing the actions.


**I also like the turbulence. It's like going to a theme park! But cheaper. Or not, actually. Well, you don't have to stand in lines all day. Hmm, that doesn't work either. They don't demand a kidney for a plate of food! Wrong again, NEW ZEALAND AIRPORT'S FIVE DOLLAR CUP OF JUICE.


  1. OK: What the hell airline did you fly on? In all my flights, I never had an experience as nice as what you describe - and that includes trips on Aer Lingus, which is pretty darn nice.

  2. Geez, that sounds awesome (and unlike any domestic flights I've been on). If they added child care and let me hang out with my personal TV screen the whole time, I wouldn't care where I was going or how much it cost.

  3. It was Air New Zealand, and I am happy to pimp them out. Tell your friends, it was great.

  4. ahhh you sound so excited. You were right? When you are excited you write like me!!! no joke. Everything just flies from everywhere and links happen where links shouldn't - (make love in this plane? mile high club! lol).




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