Overheard at uni today

Ok, so I had a list of things to write about written on my hand when I got back to my room today. Then I washed my hand and the list looked like this:

• grades
• vailoan
• pen
• ja_n__eng
• parents

Right. Well. We'll see how much I actually have to talk about.

***

Suit Guy from the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade: And we really look very strongly at your grades. If you don't have the high marks we're looking for...

Me: So maybe you should run these career-type seminars at a time that is not when uni students are meant to be in class or perhaps writing essays worth forty per cent of their final grades.

The British Diaspora lecturer who has a big problem with the computer projector technology but is learning something new every week: When the English were colonising America, they sent a small contingent over. An Englishman named John Smith named it New England.

Seriously, I would have thought this would have been one of those cases where a parent with a bizarrely spelt or pronounced name christens their child Mary or something. But, y'know, in reverse. Cos honestly? John Smith? Who names their kid that? And New England? Why not call it Smithtown or something. Ok, that's not that much more interesting but we can work on it. At least you get a little personal credit. It's not a name that's not just like the old one. Even better, you should make up something new, like ... Australia. Cos y'know there's no-one here, so terra australis ... Australia. It's different, it's catchy. Wasn't it supposed to be the New World or something. New name, fellas, that's all I'm saying.

The British Diaspora lecturer who has a big problem with the computer projector technology but is learning something new every week: And sometimes they went due to pressure from parents or inlaws or other negative forces.

Hee! Parents are negative forces! Heee!

And I need a new pen.

*And, obviously, I have no idea what that vailoan thing was supposed to be. I'm sure it was hilariously funny.