Thursday, August 07, 2008

The Un!Comfortable! Moment (and Awesome Recovery) Award: Heather B

Again, this is all impression and seemed and felt, so read it with that in mind.

Tiff and I both read Heather B’s blog. We both got to it through Amalah, back when Heather was Noah’s babysitter (surely the best job in the world). We are both well aware of the fact that Heather is no longer his babysitter, and is in fact, a person and blogger in her own right.

One day (I’m guessing Saturday), Tiff walked close by Heather B and was brave enough to say hi. Good work, Tiff! Then the both of them, separately, walked close enough by me for Tiff to say, “Hey Missy, there’s Noah’s babysitter!” And then, I did my squealy excited thing, and called out, “Hi! I’m so jealous!” because I wasn't thinking, and also, if there had been more time, I would have said something like, “I love your blog,” but there wasn’t.

That night, at Macy’s, while Tiff and I were talking to Amalah about Trader Joe’s and Sephora and Noah, Heather B came up to rescue Amalah / take her to the Cheeseburger Party / whatever. Then she realised who I was and looked at Amalah and was all, “This is the girl I was telling you about. She thought I was Noah’s babysitter.” Um, hi, you were Noah’s babysitter, and if you’d give me a second, I could explain that I know you’re not any more. Then she recognised Tiff and said something about her as well, but I couldn’t hear because I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.

Me and Tiff and Amalah had been having fun, hanging out, and then Amalah had been informed that I was nobody she would want to hang out with, ever, and straight away I was nothing to her. Obviously, not actually, because Amalah is not a horrible person (there’s an endorsement for you), but that was how I felt, because I am irrational like that.

Tiff took over Amalah duties and I tried to explain to Heather B that I actually did know who she was, that I liked her writing, and that I read her blog all the time, but I got the impression she didn’t care and wasn’t listening. Of course, that may have been because we were all about to be late for cheeseburgers, but still. I really don’t think it was anyone’s finest hour right there.


Also: Heather B sent Tiff an extremely awesome email apologising for the situation (unnecessary, but lovely of her), and it was indeed as I thought, that she would like to be recognised as someone other than Noah's babysitter. Like, maybe as Heather B of No Pasa Nada. I'm just guessing, and the second one is in fact the way I think of her, but it was just simpler for Tiff to point her out to me as the former at the time. So we're sorry, too.

And I got to meet Heather B! Woohoo!


  1. oh man, did we feel like assholes right then. at the same time? i give us props for being brave enough to talk to the people we admire. it's simply not possible to be your BEST self ALL of the, i called her 'noah's babysitter.' and she was offended. and at the end of the day we all felt like assholes.

    *shrugs shoulders*

    that's the way the cookie crumbles, as my grandma would have said.

    i still think heather b is an awesome writer. it would take something much worse than the above to make me not want to read her anymore, and i know you feel the same way. so, i'm not sure why i've written so many words here. hmmmmm. i guess i might as well be done now.

  2. Heather is one of my new best internet friends and I promise you, she surely meant you no ill will!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. You may end up deleting mine as well, but I wanted to stick up for Heather.

    First, you say you don't want to cause drama, and yet this is all this post is. It is three weeks later and you say you mean no ill will, yet you write a post linking to her (so she can see) and basically call her a not nice person.

    Second, you say you are a fan and read her site, then why would you refer to her as Amalah's babysitter? It is condescending, especially at a blogging conference. And especially saying it to someone who writes professionally on two other blogs than her own.

    She's much more than a babysitter. And you KNEW that before you said it.

    This post was just hurtful.

    Apologies have been made by her so why bring it up three weeks later?

  5. Just for the record, I deleted my previous comment. Not Missy. Which K and I have discussed but it should be said.

  6. The reason it's three weeks later is because I have been travelling and because I have a lot of experiences I want to record, which is why BlogHer posts are still appearing.

    Yes, I linked to her, not to shove it in her face but so she could choose to respond if that was what she wanted.

    I was not trying to say she was not a nice person and I'm sorry if it came across like that.

    "Amalah's babysitter" was simply the first thing that came to Tiff's mind when calling out to me in a crowded situation, as Heather was someone we had both been looking forward to meeting, and she was finally close enough to say hi to.

    I am sorry if this hurt anyone, I never meant to imply that Heather was a bad person. BlogHer was huge for me and I'm trying to document it all, especially the things I can learn from.

  7. dudes.
    I am the one who referred to heather as "noah's babysitter."
    and i apologized for it, and i'm pretty sure that everything was okay and that it wasn't a big deal.

    but, just in case, let me try to say a little something: no one ever referred to heather as noah's babysitter in a way that was meant to make her feel bad, or diminish her importance in this here blog-world. what REALLY happened is that missy and i were running around blogher completely retarded with joy about meeting all of our favorite writers--see, earlier in the day of the whole "look! it's noah's b abysitter!" event, we had been getting ready in our room, and talking about how we'd seen heather b from no pasa nada, but neither of us had said anything to her. then we continued to be very silly-slap happy-sleep deprived girls, and one of us was all: "i can't believe you didn't say hi! she was noah's babysitter!"
    so, when i saw heather later that day and had exactly 6 seconds to interact with her, i called out to missy and yelled: "missy! it's noah's babysitter!"

    for the record, that is not how either of us actually think about her. it was just one of those crazy girl things, and it flew out of my mouth because we'd just been talking about it right before that, and i had no idea that it would be taken as hurtful, and obviously i feel like a huge ass that i hurt the feelings of a blogger who i totally respect...but, like i said? i thought everything was okay already.

    heather b is clearly an awesome person, as she sent me an email after blogher to make sure everything was ok, even though we talked it out that very night and everything was already ok.

    can everything be ok now?

    i think everyone is misunderstanding missy's post. see, before blogher even started we had a long talk about how many post-blogher posts we read every year that are full of people complaining about how they were left out, or felt alone, or snubbed, or whatever. we decided that we would not feel that way, because we understand that sometimes when you talk to someone for 20 seconds, you don't really learn enough about them to make a sound judgement on what kind of person they are.

    in missy's post here, i think she was just trying to document her experience. maybe it's because she talked this out with me before she posted, but i thought it came through that she likes and respects heather b very much. i think the main point of this post is that you can't tell very much about a person from a 20 second meeting, and how that's what most of blogher is.

    if it didn't come through, i promise that is what missy was trying to say.

    p.s. she linked to heather not because she wanted to be mean, but because she didn't want to say anything behind her back. i promise you, she thought it out before hand and i never heard a malicious word come out of her mouth about it.

  8. Thanks Tiff. That was all much better than I could have written.

    and i'm pretty sure that everything was okay and that it wasn't a big deal.

    I think that may be the problem. It WAS ok, everyone WAS over it, and it seemed like I was dragging it up again. Which, three weeks later does give that impression. Which was my bad. I am over it, was over it five minutes after it happened, and hopefully everyone else has gone back to being over it also.

  9. yeah, dude. i think most people just don't read you every day like i do, and so they don't realize that you're actually still posting "blogher" themed posts at least every other day.
    so, it's not like anyone's being an asshole, it's just another one of those things where people are making assumptions based on very limited information.

    i know you're not done with the blogher posts yet, because i have yet to read the one called: the 'most awesome person i had never met before" award post. that one would obviously be all about me.

    also, we can't move on without sharing with the internet that moment when you opened the door to the basement and i was all: "misssy?" and you were all *running down the stairs as fast as possible and hopping into my bed and attacking me, and then all: "tiff" and then there was hugging and then there was (me) going back to sleep, because it was butt early in the morning, and (you) also blogging attempts that failed due to total-crap wireless service.
    because, that?
    was awesome.


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