So I can survive these few weeks, I have decided to create a new drinking game, based on the 2008 Bejing Olympic Games. (The first time to drink is if you hear it referred to as a year other than 2008. Shot! (Seriously. 2006.))
The one guaranteed to get you totally smashed: Drink for any mention of Libby Trickett when she's not actually racing. Double if they interview her and totally ignore the people who actually won medals. (I am not going to give you a Michael Phelps one, you won't last five minutes. THE TABLE TENNIS. They managed to work a mention of him into the TABLE TENNIS for crying out loud.)
The 'Grrr, Channel Seven' one: Drink for any time Channel Seven decides to run a ten-minute "highlights" package when, I don't know, we could be watching actual coverage? Double if it includes that guy lying on the ground pouring water over his face. (Who the hell is he, anyway?) Drink any time they decide to cover a sport no-one cares about, where no Australians are actually involved. Drink if they can't sort out their contracts ahead of time and cut to the FOOTBALL, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, which we can watch any old damn weekend, or on Foxtel right this second, but noooo, never mind this one-time-only Olympic thingy. Have another drink, on me.
The 'I Love Commentators' one: Drink any time a commentator says something stupid. Just kidding! That'd be wayy too much fun! Drink any time a commentator says something unnecessary, like "And in Lane Number One, next to the other one, who is [TOTALLY COINCIDENTALLY] in Lane Number Two..." Drink any time a female commentator is scathing about another female's chances. Drink any time a commentator reminds us that this is totally important. For reals this time. These points are the absolutely crucial ones. Drink any time a commentator says something laughable, such as, "She's learned how to run. And she's only 24."
Man, this game is going to be so. much. FUN! Who's got more?