I had my six-month check-up thing for that whole boob lump thing. The lump is as much of a non-concern as it was back then, but it made for an interesting afternoon.
- Allow plenty of time. People feeling your boobs and pronouncing them lovely takes longer than you'd think.
- Assume plenty of people will want to get in on the action. Ultrasound woman, random woman who came in to let me know the radiographer hadn't forgotten about me, radiographer, the registrar, the doctor, and the med student who needs to work on both the blushing and feeling up.
- Those gowns come in different sizes. All that fresh air on your arse is a myth, at least in a breast clinic. And it really helps if you take off your bra underneath.
- Wearing the gown makes you chatty. Unless you are thirty years younger than all the rest, and also don't actually have anything wrong with you. You are a faker.
- Medical people are very trusting of patients. Seriously, I could have swiped all kinds of things. Saline 0.9% or xylocaine 1% or four different sizes of those glove things. What I really wanted to do was play with the ultrasound machine. I suppose they think leaving people half naked with goop all over their chest will prevent too much moving around/theft.
- Be worried if they don't know the difference between a mammogram and an ultrasound.
Front Desk Lady: They'll send you the bill for the mammogram...
Me: But I didn't have one.
Front Desk Lady: *checks with the woman who ticked the box on the form*
Me: *thinks I would have noticed if I'd had a mammogram*