Friday, June 13, 2008

The Dark Side of the Gym

I am a fairly anti-gym person.

I have a few questions that I feel should be answered with something along of the lines of "... Well, I don't know. That's a good point." These questions include the following:

"Why would go for a run on a treadmill when you could just go for a run?"
"Why would you do push-ups in a gym when you could just do push-ups?"
"Why would you cycle in a gym when you could just go for a ride?"*

As it turns out, there is a valid answer:

"Because it's fricking freezing outside, and also is pitch black by 5:30 in the afternoon."

*The other question is "Why don't you just play a real sport?" but the answer is "A wacky schedule and limited funds does not a team sport make."**

**I was seriously looking for the button to make a numbered footnote just then.

At home (Darwin), skywalker and I would often be at the basketball courts at the local school til 7pm. Us and the rest of the neighbourhood 'kids' would be out in our cul-de-sac every afternoon until whenever we got called in for dinner. Cold and/or dark were not even issues.

Back to Adelaide. Cold and dark. I have been cycling for half an hour each day for the past two weeks. I need thirty stickers on my reward chart if I want to go to BlogHer. Somehow, this gave Shelle the impression that I was one of those Exercise People, one of those Heading Off To The Gym For A Workout People. (She is one of those people.)

Her gym (the brand new, fancy one near my house) was having a launch class Wednesday night. Since it was a spin class, and I am, as of last week, a cyclist, she thought I might enjoy it. Ha! I don't like the idea of exercising on purpose. With basketball, it just happens. With my cycling, at least I get to listen to music. The gym seems more like torture.

So we got there, Shelle being very encouraging. I filled out a bajillion forms that all asked for the same information. Having learned my lesson from HaMad getting insistent phone calls from them, I gave the nice gym people my old phone number. NOT A GYM PERSON. GO AWAY.

We went into the spin class: totally packed. Well damn. Now we have to just go home without any forced exercising. Except not, because Shelle came here to do all that exercisey shit, and I hadn't done my 30 minutes a day.

Ok, I'll just say it: I had fun. We went on the cycles first, cos that's what I know. We did some 'stretching' aka gossip catch-up. We did ten minutes on the cross trainers, and I swear to god, the first two minutes nearly killed me. Then I started using the arm things, got into a good rhythm, and actually enjoyed myself. We even carried on a conversation most of the time, which does make it go quicker. Then we went to the rowing machines, which looked kinda scary but this was where we struck freaking gold: There was a FISH GAME! I loved it! The serious work-out guy next to us thought I was insane, but I'm ok with that. Last we went on the sitting down cycles, which felt like a cop-out. But I'm pretty sure I can blame them for any problems I may have had with the "She hit the floor / Next thing you know / Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low" parts of the songs at the Tonsley. (I got back up again, which is all that matters.)

In conclusion, I am off to do my cycling for today. I understand why people would go to the gym, but not why they would pay that much money to do it. Anyone else wants to offer me a free guest pass, I'll take it and enjoy it. Then I will eat some chocolate.


  1. Ya, I'm with you...too expensive. And, I don't know if you have it there, but here we have this thing called Jazzerice. All I'm saying is if I want to get a workout like that, why don't I just put on some music and dance like a fool? It's way more fun anyway.

  2. Oh I agree--why walk inside when outside is better? I just wish we had more than six months of walkable weather here!

  3. Anonymous1:01 am

    Yeah, I have never quite understood that gym thing either, when you can do a lot of things not in the gym, on your own, for free.

    How far are you from Alice Springs? Probably quite a ways.

    What are you studying to be?

    Have a nice weekend!

  4. I'm not a gym person solely because I think that every chick in the place will be hotter than me. I refuse to subject myself to such abuse!

  5. Aimee: Thank you! Yes! Just pump up the music, have a blast.

    Scribbit: Why can't the weather just do as it's told?

    Coastrat: I'm about 1500kms from Alice Springs. My BA(Hons, English) will hopefully turn me into a book publisher/editor type person.

    Immoral Matriarch: Oh yeah, brand new, super expensive gym: there was definitely some of that happening. I have a great "you are awesome and don't you forget it" thing going though, so it wasn't too bad.


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