How to lower your power bill: Get sick with a fever high enough that you don't even have to use your heater.
Why would a room in a rehab hospital not have a remote control for the tv?
When patients can climb up on the bed and stretch up to the power button on the tv itself, they are all better.
Lesson One on How To Give Confusing Directions And Make Me Lose Faith In Google Maps: Tell me the wrong name of the building, the wrong number, and make the street one that Google changes to something else every time I search for it.
Friend#1: Coming out tonight?
Me: I'll come out in November.
Friend#2: Let's go shopping!
Me: I'll go shopping in November.
My Crazy Side: We should go for a run.
Lesson? (Almost) Everything in the world will be happening in November.
Lecturers: How's that assignment coming along?
Honour students: THEEESIIIIIIIISSSSSSS!
Lesson: Sucks to be an Honours lecturer in Semester Two.