Remember when I was all, "I want to send you stuff!" And then you all were like, "Meh, ok." Well check it out...
...parcels and postcards!
I wrapped up the parcels, and promptly forgot what was in each of them, so if the explanatory note on the outside makes no sense, just send it to someone else and they'll send you yours.
Also, I was trying to write explanatory notes without giving away what was actually in the parcels. So if your note says something like "The mmhmm was from this shop that specialises in mmhmms" it was just me trying to be circumspect.
Which of course was all for nothing because you have to fill in extremely detailed customs forms, so if you could all not read those, that'd be great. Not that they will probably give much away because there is little to no chance that (a) I remembered what was in them, and (b) the forms ended up on the right parcels. Also, your gifts all equal $10, a totally made up number. Come on, Australia Post, don't you think if I've ticked "Gift" I should be able to skip the value part?
I also think it's highly unlikely that most of these will get to anyone at all. You guys have some freaking long-arse addresses. My house numbers have been 8 and 13. Yours are like 937582Aiix. And your postcodes are five numbers long! I can't handle that many numbers! Maybe you should check with your neighbours (by which I mean people in neighbouring zip codes) to see if they get your parcels.
And finally, I was shocked that they still sell stamps you have to LICK. EW. And my tongue TASTES LIKE STAMPS. And also, AUSTRALIA POST PROVIDES STAMP LICKER THINGS, DUMBARSE:
Whoo! Mail time!