Friday, May 30, 2008

The Obligatory Freak-Out


There are only forty-five days til I leave for BlogHer. That is not very many. I would like to take this opportunity to freak the fuck out.

What if these bloggy people I think are actual people are, in fact, not. What if they are eighty year old men or aliens from outer space? What if this alleged conference is, in fact, not a conference of awesome people and cocktails, but some imaginary organisation that exists only on the interwebs. And when you go back to the site, it will have disappeared, leaving only one of those annoying 404 error messages. What if the Golden Gate Bridge is not, in fact, golden? Or it is, and that causes it to be so heavy that it falls into the ocean? Or it is, and they charge you a bajillion dollars to set foot on it, and they only tell you this after you've dirtied up their pretty bridge? What if the Stock Market (something I'd always assumed was, in fact, a figment of everyone's imaginations) crashes to the ground and leaves me stranded in America with ten Australian dollars, which will be worth less than the price of one of those sidewalk hotdogs? What if "America" is, in fact, a product of everyone's imagination and television scripts, and I will actually be visiting some kind of very elaborate hologram?

Ok, I'm done. Did I miss anything?


  1. I'm actually an obese 40 year-old man with social anxiety looking for a hot Aussie with a hot accent! Also, I have explosive gas.

  2. Well, I feel so much better now.

    And so should you, cos ... ya found me!

  3. i'm pretty sure that San Fransisco doesn't exist. :)

  4. the golden gate bridge is decidedly NOT golden.
    but, i went to blogher last year, and i can assure you that there will be real people there. like, a LOT of them.

    including me! but, you'll know that because i'll be walking right next to you the whole time.

    i get a little nervous, is all.

    you need 'business cards' to promote your blog.
    i'll have that batman guy make a design for you, if you want. then you can order a bunch online and it's not very expensive.

  5. Oh, don't be silly. I'm sure only SOME of them will be aliens.

  6. You all are so helpful.

  7. OMG you're GOING? To the US of A where there are (supposedly) REAL bloggers?
    Wow....I'm scared for you.

    *freaks the fuck out in sympathy*

  8. Yep, Suze, I'm going. Thanks for the freaking out on my behalf.

  9. BlogHer is the best weekend of my whole year, pretty much, and I see that you're going to be at the party Thursday night, so find me and we'll have a pint!

  10. Definitely will do!

  11. I'm glad I'm not the only one freaking out! :) We'll have to look for each other at the party, and I'm also glad that I'm not the only one who wants a picture of Dooce.


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