Friday, October 10, 2008

Killer Magpie Invasion

I just got SWOOPED by a MAGPIE.

Now, when I was little my dad used to tell us stories about when he was a boy and he had to ride to school swinging his school bag over his head to scare off the magpies. Darwin magpies don't do that, but it never occurred to me that Adelaide magpies would do it TO ME. Dad lived in the freaking country. Town magpies swoop, but city magpies are all civilised when I want to hang out the washing, right? Turns out: HELL NO.

And also, dad? You can't have your mobile off AND be out of the office when I need to call you. I couldn't really leave a message with Random Lady Who Answered The Phone about giant killer magpies who are out to get me, you know? And now how is my washing going to get dry? It's not-cold AND it's sunny today! But there's a magpie! HELP!


  1. That sounds like a horror movie. Oh wait, I think it was.

  2. One of the inspirations for my own blog is Sammie from, an Aussie from NSW. She once wrote about a magpie problem of her own, and one commenter gave a suggestion that I thought would make a great band name: "Magpies need potatoes."

    Did you try throwing a potato at them?

  3. what is a magpie? I was thinking some sort of baked treat with frosting... But if a baked treat swooped on me I'd eat it. So I'm thinking big yucky bug?

  4. Aimee, you may know them as "those weird white-on-black talking birds from the Windex commercials."

    Actually, I think the ones in the Windex ads are European Magpies, a different species of birds altogether. Or maybe they're American Black-Billed Magpies...What the hell kind of accent does the woman in this commercial have?

  5. If there's a movie, I don't want to see it.

    Is that ad on over there? Cos it's on here at the moment. That woman is the standard Australian ad announcer voice.

  6. Heh. That ad hasn't aired here in a few years, I think. I found a version with a woman with an Aamerican accent as an announcer. But the accent in the one I posted sounded like the Aussie announcer was trying to sound American. Lucy Lawless can make her Kiwi accent go away entirely when she plays Xena. But Aussie and Kiwi accents are just so damned NICE. It was a real pleasure when I was in Ireland to be able to watch Neighbours (everyone there watches it) and be able to hear easily-comprehensible voices once again.

    The original of the Windex ad (I believe it was the original) featured one of the Magpies crashing into the window. It was pulled after protests from anti-cruelty groups.

  7. Is it wrong that I had to look up magpies on wikipedia?

  8. Apparently magpies are one of those things that are very Australian but you don't realise it until you write about them and people are all who in the what now?

  9. I am one of the world's greatest authorities on magpies.
    There are a number of varieties, but the biggest, toughest, meanest and smartest are the South Australian variety.
    Many years ago, in my childhood, I had the enormous pleasure of seeing a big, tough, older-than-me larrikin reduced to helpless tears on being repeatedly swooped by one.
    I also was swooped, many times, but I did not cry!!!!

    They are also clever, in an evil way.
    May dad loved to tell the story about Mr Winkie, our neighbur and notable gardener, carefully planting seeds in prepared holes, totally unaware of a pair of maggies following closely behind, removing the seeds within moments of planting.


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