What If Our Parents Had Blogs?

What would it have been like if our parents had blogs, if we could go back and read them now?

Did my mum like being pregnant with me? Would she have written my birth story? Was I a good sleeper or eater? Would she have turned to the internet for help when I got a huge rash all over my back and nothing would shut me up? Would the internet have caned my dad for that time I fell, or sent comforting emails about how they let their kids fall off the bed? I remember a meeting about putting me up to a combined 1/2 class when I was in Grade One. I didn't change classes. Did my parents agonize over that decision, and would the internet have helped them make it? When we had fish and chips I would always line my chips up in height order and eat them in order. Would some helpful internet reader have commented some kind of diagnosis based on this quirk? Would my parents have talked about the eight-year age gap between my brother and I with the internet? Would they have pulled back as we got older or would the teenage years have been just as blog-worthy? Would their relationship, or our relationship with them, have changed if what they wrote was being read?

We can hear the stories now all we want, but blogs definitely provide a unique, on the spot, emotional record of events. And I think it would be fascinating to read.

What Are You Making?

You know how something is totally hilarious at the time, but if you try to tell the story you are met with blank looks, and possibly it doesn't even seem that funny to yourself in retrospect? Yeah, that's what this title is like. It was the funniest thing ever when I said it to someone at work today. Now ... not so much.

The bushfires still suck. My scooter is still stolen. My internet is still spotty.

But I am totally optimistic (well, not so much about the bushfires and all the people who lost all their homes and possessions and scooters) because this week my boy housemates are moving out and my two girl housemates are moving in. Whoo! Oops, not that I hate my boy housemates. Just that it's exciting having new housemates, and one is a good friend and one I've never met, and that shit is exciting.

Also I bought a new diary and moved my room around and we bought a couch (it's pink! I know!) and am going shopping for a tv and fridge and washing machine tomorrow.

Oh and I just spent the past couple of hours thinking I was having a texting conversation but no, I was talking to myself as I had no credit and the messages weren't actually going anywhere. Genius.

Jumping Jumping

All has been rather doom and gloom around here lately, but instead of dwelling on my (now restored) dodgy internet, the crazy destructive bushfires that were, thank god, nowhere near me, the end of the two weeks of summer we were apparently allocated this year, or the theft and continued absence of the Scarlet Lady and my resultant reliance on public transport and hatred for the world, we are going to talk about a subject a little more upbeat. You with me? Awesome.

When we were little, my cousins had a trampoline. Between the two youngest, they broke three wrists in the space of a couple of years on (or, more accurately, off) the trampoline. I was jealous. I never got a cast (or crutches). The oldest cousin broke the trampoline mat one night when she and her friends all got on it in high heels, but it got fixed. And my cousins and I liked to turn the tramp on its side then run and knock it over, with us ending up on top of the mat. We also liked to put detergent on the mat and the sprinkler underneath and slide around on it.

My primary school had two trampolines. One massive yellow one and a normal black one. The After School Care kids (of which I was one) were the only ones who ever got to use them, and then I think it was only one year that we were allowed to get them out. The yellow one was the best, and I kicked arse on it. I could jump mega high, and do all kinds of spinning jumps. Then one day the trampolines went away and we had to go back to playing Poison Ball Against The Wall.

But I never had a trampoline of my own. So, as you can imagine, I was very very excited to go to Trampoline World, a magical world just full of trampolines. But, sadly, as you may remember, Trampoline World was frickin CLOSED on the one day we went there. I was devastated.



LUCKILY, Dad is an excellent accommodation booker, and managed to get us into a place with a jumpy pillow. A freaking trampoline equivalent right there in our backyard for two whole days. How awesome is that?! (It was at this time that I discovered that brother, who never had the cousinly trampoline exposure I did, had no idea how to play Crack The Egg. Who doesn't know how to play Crack The Egg? The kid had such a deprived childhood.)



So now you know, if you are ever in need of a Christmas present for me, just buy me a massive trampoline and I will love you forever. The end.

You Had A Bad Day

Personally, I like 09 was feeling a bit left out. Everyone was complaining about how 2008 was the Year of Suck, and he got jealous, and threw a fit, and was all like, "You think that was bad? You ain't seen nothing, bitches."

And then he threw a virus at my computer, loss of signal at my internet, and fucking THIEVES at my SCOOTER. People are fuckers. That is all.

2009, you're a badass. We get it. Now can we just please try to get along?

Delurk

Guess what?! It's Delurking Day!

But Missy, I thought that was ages ago, like when you were on the Great Ocean Road Trip, or meeting your future husband while entertaining your family, or when your computer shat itself. You know, you totally missed it.

Nope. Actually, it just seems like that because ... of the time difference! Yeah, it's an upsidedown thing. I'm actually right on schedule here.



This is also a majorly important Delurking Day. In my new clean-slate state, I have deleted a shitload of blogs with the aim of giving the ones that are left some VIP treatment. And you all are totally important, right?

So if you read this blog (when there's actually something new to read, I know) leave me a comment and let me know. Otherwise I may have in a delete-button seizure accidentally deleted your blog. But I will absolutely be adding you back!

If you need a topic to start you off, how about telling me the most essential song ever so I can add it to my now non-existent music collection. Or you can tell me about how it's totally colder where you are.

Take A Moment

Well. That was certainly an experience. My computer did indeed crash, about as hard and as far as it's possible to do. For some unexplained (which I'm not too thrilled about) reason, the hard drive was/became/got corrupted (which of you was teaching my precious computer bad words?) and consequently, I lost everything except the little voice that was left there to tell me nothing was there.

I now have my computer back, restored to its factory condition. Except for several programs that were installed for me after I bought it and before I took it home, and the fact that the battery no longer holds its charge, and the way that it manages to heat up to a bajillion degrees and that's not even because we're having a ginormous heat wave and just had the third hottest day EVER.

I've spent the day downloading essential programs, continually reassuring my computer that although it may be correct in supposing Norton 2005 is slightly out of date, we will soldier on regardless, and enjoying/cursing out all the new versions of things.

Life without a computer was odd - like, as if we'd have a physical train timetable lying around (especially since the trains are not currently running anywhere near schedule due to their likelihood of falling off the tracks into the ocean) - but clearly you all kept on with life as normal, as evidenced by the 1374 new posts I have to read. Good one, guys.

I am sad that I have lost over three years worth of photos (although some are still on Facebook and Flickr) and a bajillion songs worth of music (although, in a strange psychic experience, I loaded the best ones onto Skywalker's PSP just before everything went to crap), but starting over has a nice cleanliness to it.

Feel free to update me in the comments on everything I've missed out this past week or so.