Well. That was certainly an experience. My computer did indeed crash, about as hard and as far as it's possible to do. For some unexplained (which I'm not too thrilled about) reason, the hard drive was/became/got corrupted (which of you was teaching my precious computer bad words?) and consequently, I lost everything except the little voice that was left there to tell me nothing was there.
I now have my computer back, restored to its factory condition. Except for several programs that were installed for me after I bought it and before I took it home, and the fact that the battery no longer holds its charge, and the way that it manages to heat up to a bajillion degrees and that's not even because we're having a ginormous heat wave and just had the third hottest day EVER.
I've spent the day downloading essential programs, continually reassuring my computer that although it may be correct in supposing Norton 2005 is slightly out of date, we will soldier on regardless, and enjoying/cursing out all the new versions of things.
Life without a computer was odd - like, as if we'd have a physical train timetable lying around (especially since the trains are not currently running anywhere near schedule due to their likelihood of falling off the tracks into the ocean) - but clearly you all kept on with life as normal, as evidenced by the 1374 new posts I have to read. Good one, guys.
I am sad that I have lost over three years worth of photos (although some are still on Facebook and Flickr) and a bajillion songs worth of music (although, in a strange psychic experience, I loaded the best ones onto Skywalker's PSP just before everything went to crap), but starting over has a nice cleanliness to it.
Feel free to update me in the comments on everything I've missed out this past week or so.