And Ridiculously Long Post Titles
One day, the Christmas Fairy - a cheerful young retail worker with tinsel in her hair and Heelys on her feet - looked at the clock. While all her friends had to work until nine that night, and all the next day (Christmas Eve), her Christmas was going to start in just three minutes.
The Christmas Fairy was very happy about this, and decided to share some Christmas Cheer with her co-workers by bringing them yummy Boost Juice smoothies. On the way back with her presents, she stopped at a stand for World Vision and gave them all the rest of the cash she had in her wallet.
As she did so, the Christmas Fairy remembered The One Where Phoebe and Joey argue over truly selfless good deeds. The Christmas Fairy's friends were very happy with their drinks and that made her happy in return, and the World Vision Dude said that she would have a Very Merry Christmas. Therefore, the Christmas Fairy concluded that all good deeds are selfish, because they make you feel so good. She decided she could live with that.
So the next day,* the Christmas Fairy went in search of more good deeds, for although she is not overburdened with wealth (and in fact has a slight debt, due to her appearance - albeit with less tinsel - at BlogHer08), she is doing ok for herself, and also has finished her Christmas shopping and needs something to spend money on.
She went to the K-Mart Wishing Tree (or whatever tree is available at Marion - she is sure there will be one) and bought a present for a needy kid. (She wonders if any of Missy's readers might have ideas of what to get kids this Christmas. How much do you spend on a Wishing Tree kid?) Then she got some cash out and gave it to the Salvos person who is usually standing at the entrance, and she gave a larger-than-gold-coin donation to the gift wrapping people for wrapping her Wishing Tree present. Then she dropped off a bag of her old clothes at the op shop.
At the end of this, the Christmas Fairy was a little tired, but totally full of selfishly selfless good deeds, plus lots of Christmas Cheer that she shared with one and all at Christmas Mass and Carols that night.
*The rest of this is written predictively, because not only is the Christmas Fairy a huge fan of Christmas Cheer, but she has amazing powers of precognition.
*And also, when she got home on that first day, yet another selfishly selfless thing was waiting for her. A parcel has arrived for her, and we all know that the Christmas Fairy loves packages in the mail, but also, it wasn't even for her, but she got the package, and she'll get the happy feeling when she gives it to its future recipient. The Christmas Fairy is so confused but also very happy, because Christmas has officially started!