Bad Attitude

I really do believe that sports can bring out great things in people: teamwork, trying your best, good sportsmanship, etc. However, there are some people in whom it can bring out the worst.

I never thought I was one of those people.

When I was playing basketball, I would have a bit of an attitude occasionally, and foul people cos I was angry, but they were one-off spurts of temper. What I'm finding now is a constant, entire game's worth of sooky, crappy mood. And it sucks.

(I should say, too, that to me, shin splints, vague knee 'problems', and mental game all fall under the same category of "imaginary. see also: suck it up, princess, just play.")

My main problem is that I can see these moods beginning, and think to myself, you should stop this right now, or it will last the rest of the game ... and then I don't stop it. I indulge the petty, whiny side of my brain, and don't try as hard, and expect other people to do things when I should be doing them, and have a bad attitude in general. It's self-indulgent, and attention-seeking (hey, it's blogging!) and I don't like it at all.

I am slightly concerned that this is some fundamental flaw in my personality ... but the other side of my brain scoffs at this, all, "No-one is fundamentally anything, just DECIDE TO BE AWESOME, AND BE AWESOME."

Ok, Self. I hear you.